Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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