Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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