Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
