I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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