Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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