i already hear my dad disowning me
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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