the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
