woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
