Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We have so much sex to catch up on
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
