currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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