What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My pussy is not your playground.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
