i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
