trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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