dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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