based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I queefed so loud it echoed.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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