His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
