i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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