Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
