I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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