I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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