dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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