p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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