I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
