As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
