and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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