I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
