I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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