My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
