I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
