if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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