You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
