Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
