Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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