I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
