this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
