I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
