I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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