making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
