she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
