she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
