I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
