did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
