Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
