Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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