Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
