Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
