Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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