I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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