Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
