i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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