She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
